How can we help children with school anxiety settle into school?

To help children who are struggling to settle into school this academic year due to school anxiety, a holistic approach usually works best. Taking time to find out the real root cause of the problem can actually smooth the issue more quickly than putting demands on children to ‘get on with it’ and ‘just go to school’. If you are struggling with this school anxiety, either your own child or a child in your class, please know that you are not alone. 

It is helpful to identify school anxiety early on and to support children in going into school.

In this article, we will look at the most common reasons that children struggle to settle into school because of school anxiety, as well as how you can help them and what to do if nothing seems to be working.

Why this matters now

For some children, the struggle to settle into school becomes more serious and becomes an anxiety disorder and/or school refusal. This is a problem that is becoming more prevalent in the UK.

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New school year blues or something more serious?

This time of year can be a struggle to get out of bed, and the dark mornings and evenings signal the end of long carefree summer days, and the start of a long term leading to Christmas. SAD affects children too, and many struggle to get out of bed and get to school.

But sometimes it is more than seasonal blues that challenge children at the start of a school year, and school anxiety can make the difficulty of going to school a year-round issue.

For some parents, getting their child to school is an everyday battle driven by school anxiety. It can take an enormous toll on the mental health of both parents and children. Finding out the true cause of these feelings is important, and could potentially stop it developing into a more serious problem.

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The role of SEN in school anxiety

This time of year can be challenging for children experiencing school anxiety. We all know how hard it can be going back to work after a long break, but for school children across the UK, this also means a new school year, new expectations and often a new teacher – all of which can heighten school anxiety. 

These changes can be particularly difficult for SEN children, who may experience school anxiety more intensely after becoming used to the routines of their previous teacher. After a long summer holiday, adjusting to a new class can feel overwhelming. Some pupils experience school anxiety on a long-term basis.

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How does the atmosphere at school have an impact?

We all know that classrooms can sometimes be noisy places, and this is OK for some children, but not all. Children need to feel safe and calm at school, and this can be achieved in different ways.

🎨 Create calm, not chaos

Classroom decor must be inviting, not over-stimulating and helpful. Classrooms with wall-to-wall posters, signs, resources and work can be overwhelming to look at. Instead choose carefully what goes on the walls, and try to keep the colours calm and nice to look at. 

🧩 Make space for play and exploration

All children need to play, and this is not something that is always catered for. Allowing free-play and exploration is vital in the Early Years, but also so in Key Stages beyond that. Everyone needs some element of play in their lives. Allow children the chance to use their hands, to build and create, to experiment and try new things.

This starves off boredom and apathy, as well as using parts of the brain that create good feelings. 

🔁 Keep routines flexible

Routines are so important but that doesn’t mean they can’t be flexible. As any teacher knows, the old saying ‘keep calm and pretend it’s on the lesson plan’ is aimed at the spontaneous nature of children and how things often don’t go how they were planned. Allow the children to side-track you slightly, talk to them about the things that interest them. Show them some magic and wonder. 

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How can reading help children to relax into the school routine?

Which brings us neatly to the most important tip on helping children to settle and feel calm within the school – books books books! Reading to children is an almost 100% success rate (in my opinion as a supply teacher) of calming them and getting their full attention.

📘 Make reading a daily practice

Choose large books with wonderful illustrations, if you want to really grab their attention. Create a culture of reading, and allow time for it everyday, both you reading to them, and independent reading.

For children who struggle with reading, offer:

• Picture books
• ‘Where’s Wally’-style search books
• Tactile books
• Books with moveable pieces

These can be less intimidating and more engaging.

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How to make sure parents and teachers are on the same page

 Home school planners liaisons and homework can show the children that the teacher and the parents are on the same page, quite literally! It helps children to feel secure and safe when the messages from home and school are the same. 

If a student who is struggling has a plan in place, and if it is visible to the parents and pupils too, this allows an environment where goals can be achieved and progress can be seen. We all know that teachers are incredibly busy, so having a place where parents, pupils and teachers can communicate easily is essential.

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What to do if none of this works 

There are many reasons that children can refuse or struggle to go to school. They are young and sensitive and can struggle to deal with big emotions. Sometimes children can develop an anxiety disorder about going to school. They need our understanding and support, so here are a few ways that you can help them.

🧠 Practical support strategies

• 🤝 Build a trusting relationship: Speak calmly and without judgement. Play a game or read first, then talk when both are relaxed.
• 📓 Record thoughts and feelings: Keep a written log of what the child shares — this helps for referrals or meetings later.
• 👩‍🏫 Arrange a parent-teacher meeting: Discuss what is bothering the child. Consider involving the SENCO or headteacher.
• 🗒️ Use planners to track daily experiences: Let teachers and parents write notes on good/bad days, triggers, and positive moments.